1) American Idol
2) Dancing with the Stars
3) Real Housewives of (whatever uber rich asshole city)
4) X-Factor or anything that starts with the phrase Simon Cowell
5) Just about every sit com on TV. (Let me sum up TV sit coms over the last 30 years, she is smart, he is a moron and they have 2 kids and live in a HUGE fuck all house.
6) Really any Reality TV show that involves singing or dancing. I saw this show back in the 80's it was called
7) Coupon people, Coupons are the Newspaper Hoarders of the 21st Century.
8) Book Jackets that don't have a synopsis.
9) Book synopsis that states the protagonists career in some incredibly specific field. She was a forensic dentist specializing in vascular gum disease. Hi, I'm a reader specializing in not giving a shit.
10) America's Got Talent
I have to say I look forward to getting my own place so I can enjoy the hermit lifestyle. Get a nice chair to sit and read in and by done with all this loud TV bullshit. Maybe I am just a little mad at TV because of our long bitter affair back in the 80's. When we used to spend every night together, skipping things like home work and study to enjoy each others company. Let's face it, there will never be another MASH or Newhart coming down the pike anytime soon. Somewhere though you started leaving me slowly, sure there were a few good smart shows on here and there, X-Files and the like but for everyone of those you made 10 Full House or Home Improvements.
Now everything is some semi-celebrity trouser stain sitting in judgement of people with a modicum of passion and some talent. You mean I perform and Sharon Osbourne and Howie Mandell will give me some pointers. You mean the woman that is famous for keeping her husband alive and the guy that was on a hit show in the 1983 and now makes phone commercials will tell me about talent. Get the fuck out of here! Funny how that works out, on the talent shows the Celebrity panels are lame and on the Celebrity Shows the celebrities are so lame you wouldn't even bother asking them for an autograph if you ever got stuck next to them in coach from LA to NY. Which Baldwin brother are you, obviously not Alec because his ass wouldn't be in coach.