Thursday, May 9, 2013


    So I never really finished my last blog about my adventures in Paris with The Brazilian because like happens to all of from time to time, Life. Or in my case medical scares, bad teeth and depression in no particular order.

    The medical adventures were just as fun as one can expect and nothing serious short term thank God. I went to the dentist to finally take advantage of my dental insurance that is just this side of useless. After they hit me with the x-rays three separate times and gave me magazines from 2008 to read they took my blood pressure and basically refused any further treatment. Basically the DMD came out and said we can't even deal with your monkey ass until you get your blood pressure closer to that of a mammal not a bird strung out on meth amphetamine.
    To say my blood pressure was high at the time is an understatement, what probably didn't help matters is the fact that I was in the dentists office reading a 2008 Time Magazine about George W Bush and getting shot with X-Rays and my left arm getting the ever loving shit squeezed out of it 6 times as they staff worked diligently to get my blood pressure down to something that they could make money.
    Dr. Asian Dentist sent me home with my X-Rays and a promise that I would go to where he referred me for a root canal and that I would also see a Doctor for my blood pressure. I'd like to think he was concerned for my health and not his practice. I went in feeling reasonable as any person going into Room 13 would with all those sharp torture devices plus the knowledge that they would perform selective surgery to excise a large chunk of money out of my meager Blue Collar bank account. (God Bless America, you are on your own)
   No one likes to sit in their apartment with what feels like an elephant standing on your chest but that was my night. No matter what I tried I couldn't calm down. One doctors appointment later in which they debated keeping me overnight because and I am paraphrasing my doctor, "we've got to calm your monkey ass down". Luckily I got out of wearing a hospital gown that time, the doctor gave me 3 prescriptions and got me a referral to a heart specialist. Now I am doing better with pills that I will very likely have to take for the rest of my life and with some hope that my heart will over time shrink down to a normal size as of now it is much like the Grinches.

   This mostly happened a few months ago, the depression part of the saga is just to depressing to even talk about on here. I wouldn't even describe it as sadness but nothingness. I literally felt nothing for what seems like months. I was so desperately alone I almost bought a dog to fill the void. Luckily my avoidance of feces kicked in and that didn't happen as of now.

   My life has been changing by increments lately though. I am no longer working day shift at work but am now on nights which I don't like nights but I have to say I love, LOVE not having management bothering me all day long. You wouldn't believe how draining it is to constantly look busy just in case someone on salary happens to walk by on a whim.
   My Doctor just gave me a 6 month check up and says my blood pressure looks good and I can start exercising again, slowly at first. That is such a relief because I have a nice little gym not even 100 yards from my door but I couldn't use it for fear of my chest exploding like a landmine. Even though working out isn't as much fun as it used to be at least it is a good way to blow off some steam and get the blood pumping which now is a good thing again.

   Plus I am going back to France in 5 days to see The Brazilian. Again seeing her is going to be a bigger deal than sight seeing, I freely admit that. It will be good to get out of Planet Houstons orbit for 9 days and next to my girlfriend. This time I will try and write about it when I get back unlike last time in which I only got about a quarter into the story. I am a latecomer to travel but that has pretty much been my case throughout my life. Late to just about all the big milestones, dating, drinking, work, college and now travel. Just how I roll.