Thursday, July 19, 2012

Corporate America

     We had a meeting at work today or as they are called Town Hall which didn't seem like the ones I remember seeing on FOX News back in 2009. Not as many old farts in Medicare Provides scooters and a lot more Asians.
     In typical Manufacturing Style the first half of the meeting was about how awesome Sales had been the year of 2012. A big projected chart on the wall showing expenses vs profit and as far as I could see with my Ray Ban eyewear was PROFIT, PROFIT, PROFIT. I'm not saying that we had the best month ever in the month of May of the companies entire history, I allowed the President of the company to say that very thing.
    The company is doing so awesome and well that we have to cut one week out of your vacation time. Yea you know how we had it so that every month you got 10 hours that you could use whenever well now in this limited fuck you in the sweet ass offer we are going to cut that down to you getting 6 hours a month and the other 4 go into something called sick days. What are sick days mind you well those are going to what you use when you get sick and for no other reason. If they see you using a sick day for some sort of personal use well by God you better be praying to whatever deity you believe. Plus we are going to take 16 hours that you have already accrued and turn those into sick days you can only use in the described fashion so that week off that you were so close to well FUCK YOU, you are now short two days. Ha ha ha...
       Now I don't want you to think I am picking on our new head of HR or the President or whoever else was doing the presentation because I know they are just cogs in the wheel as well. Somewhere though there sits a toad in an office with hemorrhoids, a huge salary and no fucking joy in his heart dictating this bullshit.
      As for me, just a Blue Collared asshole trying to get by in this world, pay off some debts, make new debts and not hate myself every waking fucking moment of my 7 am to 6 pm, 6 days a week world, it hurts. I had this goal ahead of me of taking a week off and doing nothing, maybe traveling to another place that has now grown dimmer. Makes a grown man cry.

So from now on this is my new policy.

A) Fuck you I'm taking some days off be they sick or PTO and I'm going to relax.
B) From now on

As my Brazilian girlfriend said in response to this news. "It's amazing how you guys are so advanced at most things and your labor laws and rights are shit."

     As a post script to this blog or screed I want to add that the most interesting part of the meeting wasn't even the lose of a week of vacation. We have a lot of Asian people working at the plant and many of them aren't really used to Western Toilets. So there is nothing like watching the head of HR explaining that the paper on the back of the door that is supposed to be used to cover the seat isn't for you to stand on while you crouch on the toilet.
     That college degree is basically paying for itself when you work at a place in which people haven't figured out how to use the shitter. I'm not saying that as someone that just landed in a new culture should know all the customs, absolutely not but I would think after living somewhere for a few years you'd figure out to sit your ass on that thing with the big hole in the middle. I've been to Brazil twice I still don't know what the hell to do with the bidet but if I lived there and that was all that I had I'd figure it out, ask around take some night classes on squirting water up your bum.


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